Cilantro, Micasa All Suite Hotel, Jalan Tun Razak, KL. Mummy! I swallowed Cod Sperm!

from Paranoid Android by Paranoid Android

(no pork served)

After 3 weeks of suffering from separation anxiety, with tears, whimpering and tantrums, I am back. Everybody teases me about my abnormal fixation to Sage. I know. It's that bad. My week is never complete without me being tantalized and seduced by some of the finest food available in KL. And now, Sage's mother cum precursor is back in business.

"Cilantro, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Ci-lan-tro: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Ci. Lan. Tro."

(plagiarized from the opening passage of Nabokov's Lolita)

Had a horrid day, and a have a feeling that I will be having an impending meltdown soon. I need to be reminded why I have to work. At the precise moment, the radio blasted out Black Eyed Peas who are probably psychic and they were singing:

A feeling, woo hoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

Tonight's the night, let's live it up
I got my money, let's spend it up
Go out and smash it like oh my God
Jump off that sofa, let's get, get off

I know that we'll have a ball
If we get down and go out and just lose it all
I feel stressed out, I wanna let it go
Let's go way out spaced out and losing all control

That is just about as close I can get to a religious experience, I guess and a sign for me to go for my overdue visit to Cilantro.

Clockwise from top left: 1. Interior, Cilantro. 2. Another shot of the interior with the stairs leading down to the Cigar room. 3. Venison Carpaccio 4. Sea Urchin Angel Hair Pasta.

The feeling that I got when I entered was claustrophobia. Used to the space and view at Sage, Cilantro felt like a dungeon. No window views, and the cellar and cancer club in located one floor below. The few mirrors they had on the pillars did not do much to give the illusion of space it required. But the old, familiar figures from Sage were there, including Jason the knowledgeable Maitre'd/Manager who does an excellent job of puting diners at ease and recommending dishes and wines.

Seaweed Butter (foreground) and Truffle Butter (background)

The loaves at Cilantro are perfect, as expected. Instead of the Pesto like olive oil mix in Sage, they were served with the most unctuously fragrant truffle butter and a very very lovely seaweed butter. I wished I could take them home with me. I could have wet dreams thinking about them.

Tsubugai with Oba leaf

I arrived very late, at about 10pm and all the other diners were either leaving or waiting for their checks. I am really grateful to the chef for being able to oblige me with the degustation menu, which consists of 5 items. 3 starters, one main and desserts plus coffee. The amuse bouche was Tsubugai with Oba Leaf. Tsubugai is a kind of whelk that is slight chewy and that evening it was served Sashimi style with a minty Oba Leaf. Beautiful play of taste and texture.

Tuna with Arenkha

The plate of hors d'oeuvres was a source of amazement and wonder. The tuna with arenkha was fresh and beautiful. Venison carpaccio served with daikon and truffles was a divine mouthful of indulgent creativity. Sea urchin with Angel Hair begged for an encore and the oyster reiterated my belief that it is a gift from Neptune. The platter came with a shot of Japanese Plum wine.

Oyster

The plate of hors d'oeuvre left me panting for more. Everything was so perfectly executed and in place. It was frighteningly perfect.

Consommé with Tarashirako

The meal proceeded with Beef Consommé with Tarashirako, or more precisely, Cod Sperm Sac. The Consomme broth was beautifully clear with scallions and truffles. It was the first time I swallowed some fish cum but I have to admit that it was a marvelous experience. Creamy smooth and rich, only a genius could have masterfully matched this with a perfect consommé.

Unagi with Foie Gras

The Pièce de résistance of Cilantro. Unagi with Foie Gras. Breaded and fried, and then baked and doused with a tiny bit of Port Sauce. The consistency of the foie is perfect and creamy. A marvelous showpiece of ingenuity and perfect cooking technique.

Main Lobster Acqua Pazza with Asari

The chef decided to do something off menu for the mains, the Maine lobster was poached in Acqua Pazza (Crazy Water) together with Asari (Japanese Clams). The results was a heavenly blend of briney perfection, with hints of Basil and seafood. I'm in love, and transported to the sea. The texture of the lobster was slightly too rubbery, but other than that, no grouses.

Chocolate Terrine with Pistachio Ice Cream

The desserts at Sage has never disappointed me. At Cilantro, it is also beautifully perfect. Chocolate terrine with Pistachio Ice Cream. A sinful, indulgent treat with an irreproachable texture and taste. I went home and threw that last piece of dry Sacher Torte that I have been saving up.

This is certainly not the proper place to discuss the morality of Humbert's obsession and lecherous intentions for a 12 year old Lolita, nor the place to debate the difference between love and lust. But the book is both lyrical and has a dark sense of humour.

And just like Humbert, I too have an obsession for Cilantro. Having to accept that the world is imperfect and having to brace myself to the necessity of having to trudge through the mundane chores everyday, it is a blessing to be able to dine in solace in a place where the food is almost faultless. Cilantro has risen again and Easter came early to KL, last December 16th to be exact. Hurrah!

Cilantro
Micasa All Suite Hotel
Jalan Tun Razak
Kuala Lumpur

To Read Lolita:

1. Cheap and Easy: Downloadable in PDF at http://www.vahidnab.com/lolita.pdf

2. For Scholars : The Best version would be The Annotated Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and Alfred Appel Jr. ISBN: 978-0679727293. I last saw it at Kinokuniya, but you can purchase it from Amazon or get the lovely, helpful elves at Kinokuniya to order it for you.

3. For lazy readers. The book is chillingly read by Jeremy Irons. Lolita Audiobook (Unabridged) Read by Jeremy Irons ISBN: 978-0739322062. Last spotted at Borders before Borders was put into a shrinking machine. I stopped going there after that out of disgust and disappointment.