Not so Happy Easter

Luxury can come in many forms. For some, a luxurious lifestyle is one that is filled with splendid food. Others see luxury in the form of high end fashion. In my point of view, sleep is a form of luxury. Last year, I suffered from insomnia, living on three hours of sleep for three months. These days, sleep is slipping away from my fingers. Sometimes, I wonder, why sleep must be robbed away from me. It is not that take naps during the day. In fact, my brain goes through a thousand mental laps, churning the available theories, making abstractions of what I read and categorizing complex phrases into necessary paragraphs for the perfect essay or lab report.

Is sleep so hard to ask?

If there is a chance, I would want to buy some sleep for myself. I do not mind if it is hundreds or thousands. I just want to be able to sleep for at least 8 hours every single day of my life. Two weeks ago, I found myself waking up at 4am although the my alarm is set at 6am. This morning, I woke up at 3am and struggled to transport myself into the blank space that sleep offers. It's so difficult for me to sleep after I've woken. It's so torturous that I cried to my mom about not being able to sleep. I hate it when I cannot sleep because sleep is the only time when I do not have to think. Not that I hate thinking but I feel that my brain is being pushed to the limits.

Speaking about limits, I seem to be dyslexic to my most of my neuropsychology lectures. Ironically, I don't have a problem with my history subjects although I have not done American history before. I can even get away with it by just reading my American history texts and not doing the lectures but I cannot do this to neuropsychology. Sometimes, I feel so shitty because of this. Both psychology and history should be equally difficult!

Sorry for ranting. Happy Easter Sunday by the way. I made Japanese curry lamb today. :) What did you have for Easter?